YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS ALONE
Living With Someone Else's Addiction Is Hard
What we do to help most people in our lives is not what helps our addicted loved ones.
It is confusing to realize that less is more and often our helping is actually hurting.
It is confusing to realize that less is more and often our helping is actually hurting.
"I was blown away when Jodi taught me what I did for my 'normal' children did not work for my addicted child. I learned I had to do the opposite of what I wanted to do. When I learned that, everything started to make sense."
~ CJ - Burnaby BC
Family Groups
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Family Groups and the community they create are a vital component for core family healing.
There is something special about family group, even when it is online. Families can understand each other like on one else can, because they all have a shared experience with addiction. The details may be different, but the feelings are the same. Family members come together to learn from each other, share their experience, successes, struggles and wisdom with each other and hold each other up like no one else can. |
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Online Family Group - Heart of the Family
"It is not enough to put your child into rehab; you have to look after yourself. We know that without Jodi, and the other parents in the group, we would not have made it and we would have continued to blame each other for our daughter’s addiction. We have learned that we did not cause it, we cannot cure it, and we cannot control it, but we can face it together. Jodi has brought a calming peace into our lives, which has made this unfortunate and unexpected journey livable."
~ Jennifer and Jim, Vancouver
Intervention Services
According to the Hazelden/Betty Ford Foundation, an intervention "is a deliberate process designed to help another person—a family member, loved one, friend or colleague—recognize and change self-destructive thoughts, feelings or behaviours". Although an intervention feels extreme, in reality it is an act of love for your addicted loved one. You are helping them raise their bottom and find another way to cope without self-destructing.
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An Intervention is a well organized expression of love and concern for someone who is struggling with addiction. By delivering a message of "I love you and I can't watch or help you destroy yourself anymore," you are potentially saving your loved one's life.
The family and close friends surround the addicted loved one and deliver a consistent message of love and consequences such as: “If you stop using or drinking and accept help ‘A’ will happen. If you don’t, ‘B’ will happen.” The intent of the message is to direct your loved one to treatment. By delivering this message, you are creating a crisis in your addicted loved one's life to the point where you are increasing the consequences of their behaviour and making the pain of addiction greater than the fear of getting clean and sober. Treatment then becomes the only option. |
There are 5 steps to the process
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Every intervention is successful. Even in the event your addicted loved one does not choose treatment at that time, the family and concerned friends have learned valuable skills of detaching with grace and establishing and maintaining boundaries. This change in your relationship dynamics, forces your addicted loved one to feel the uncomfortable consequences of their addiction and often chooses treatment sooner rather than later.
By doing the intervention, you have also signed up for Family After Care service where you have access to coaching, support groups and education.
By doing the intervention, you have also signed up for Family After Care service where you have access to coaching, support groups and education.
Family After Care
Many families think, "Well, my part is done. He is off to treatment!" and in some respects that is true. The crisis has past and your addicted loved on is safe and you can breathe a bit easier. The other side of the intervention is where the rubber meets the road and the real work begins. Your loved one has either chosen...
- Plan A - treatment where he will learn how to navigate the world of recovery, or
- Plan B - not to go to treatment and is living by the consequences you and the rest of the participants laid out.
This is a new world you are navigating. Whether your loved one went to treatment or not, you still needs support and coaching to learn how to set and maintain your boundaries and how to connect in a healthy manner with your loved one. This gives you and the rest of your family the chance to break free of the addiction in order to heal, both individually and as a family.
I work with all of you to create a care plan that teaches you how to support your addicted loved one and yourself. There are several different options available to you: education, support groups, counselling, support phone calls, trauma and anxiety counselling and coaching. I will also communicate with the treatment facility and your loved one to keep you up to date on progress and concerns.
Family Transition Planning
Family Transition Planning is a 2-3 hour counselling/mediation session for family members and the recovering loved one. When your loved one is leaving treatment, this service provides a forum for you - the family, to share their individual wants, needs and expectations openly and for your recovering loved one to share what he needs as support to help him maintain his life in recovery.
Typically I meet with each family member one-on-one to determine expectations of the recovering loved one and to assess their ability to offer support in a healthy manner. This includes meeting with the person in recovery to find out their needs and expectations of the family and themselves.
Typically I meet with each family member one-on-one to determine expectations of the recovering loved one and to assess their ability to offer support in a healthy manner. This includes meeting with the person in recovery to find out their needs and expectations of the family and themselves.
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This is followed by a family session with the entire family including the recovering loved one. This can be done in person or if distance is an issue, it can be done online.
During the session, everyone has an opportunity to speak their mind and let their expectations and concerns be known. We work together to find workable solutions and support for everyone involved. Often families live out of town and meeting face to face is challenging. I can do any and all of these family sessions online so you don't have to travel. |
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For additional resources to help families of alcoholics and addicts please
visit our BOOKS & SELF-STUDY page
visit our BOOKS & SELF-STUDY page
Counselling and Education Can Stop the Chaos
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SERVICES
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EDUCATION
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VANCOUVER, BC
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MAIN: (778) 241-5988
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QUESTIONS@FAMILIESDORECOVER.COM
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© Families Do Recover 2019