Recover YourselfPretzel twisting and being someone you're not, to stay connected to the other person in the relationship, is a common pattern developed out of things learned from childhood. You don't have to continue to feel seen and not heard, abandoned, unimportant, neglected, small, silenced, too much, dumb, big, stupid, unworthy or any of the other things you have been convinced of. You are a grown person, who gets to decide who you are, your talents, your likes, dislikes, your voice, feel important, smart and completely worthy!
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When people are in any kind of relationship with an addicted loved one, they tend to sacrifice their authenticity to attach to that person. People in the sphere of addiction like to keep the peace, and as bizarre as it sounds, are more comfortable in the familiarity of the chaos. Many people in recovery grew up in addicted or dysfunctional homes. This is where the familiarity was created. By working back and integrating the events that trigger the unsettling feelings, everyone can heal the parts of themselves that were sacrificed to attach to others.
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You can rediscover who you are, what you like (and don't like), what fills your cup, and most importantly,
where you find your joy!
where you find your joy!