Many of us have seen the shows “Intervention” and “Intervention Canada” and are surprised by what we see. The raw emotion of the family and the level of dysfunction can be shocking and traumatizing. What you see on television is not necessarily the entire picture. Because they only have one hour, the creators and editors are limited in the portions of the process they expose and let’s be real, they show the most dramatic and sensational aspects to keep their audience engaged.
Gaslighting – It Makes Us Feel Like A Puppet
Have you ever had a discussion with someone that leaves you feeling dumbfounded and rattled? I spent a lot of my childhood feeling like I was crazy because my Dad would always want me to change my thoughts and opinions. It was to the point where I just stopped having any ideas or thoughts of my own. I felt like everything I did and thought was wrong. This pattern repeated again in my marriage. It was very familiar and I didn’t like it. I would walk away from arguments not knowing what had just happened. I only knew I had given in again.
Enabling is one of those things we do and we don’t even know we are doing it. It is a behaviour that we learned, probably as a child, that is motivated by a craving to be loved. Enabling is often associated with growing up in a home with an addicted or alcoholic parent, but it can also be associated growing up in a family where there was one or several traumas; a death of a parent, sibling or love one, emotional, physical or sexual abuse, an absent parent, divorce or any other situation that could impact a child in a negative manner.