The About page of Jodi Takhar who is the counsellor of Families Do Recover

Who Am I and Why I Do What I Love?

As a person in long term recovery, I have a deep understanding of what it feels like to be addicted and to recover. I can help you understand your loved one by explaining
what goes on for them.

As a person with a family riddled with alcoholism and addiction, I know that place of fear
and panic that exists as you wait for that phone call or the other shoe to drop. I can guide and support you through the process of helping your addicted loved one and yourself get
to the other side of this horrific journey.

This is how women are successful... we help, support and hold each other up. We build on our strengths and share our struggles. This book is all about 15 amazing women who had the courage to tell their story of strength and courage. We came together to share our wisdom to help others learn the lessons that have made us happy, successful, joyful, playful, understanding, loving and courageous women.

"Not only is Jodi an amazing and compassionate counsellor who walks the talk; she loves her work! She made it safe to voice and work through the shame and guilt, as well as the stigma and fear I had around drug addiction. Thanks to Jodi, rather than putting my life on hold, and constantly worrying about my daughter, I am reminded to find ways to support and take care of myself."
~ Rita, Vancouver

Where It All Began

I was born and raised in Toronto in a home riddled with addiction and enabling. I don’t hold my parents responsible for my journey and what I learned. I know they were doing the best they knew how and quite honestly, I was a lucky little girl and I am grateful for everything they have done for me. I would not be the person I am today without them.

I have one brother and one half-brother, both of whom have had their challenges with substance abuse. It makes sense because this is a family disease and, in our family, it begins many generations before us.

As far back as I can remember, I didn’t feel like I had a place in the world. I didn’t fit in my family or with my friends. My skin felt uncomfortable and I was always waiting for someone to tell me where I needed to go to belong. It was like I was waiting for the mother ship to come and get me. It never happened.

My Maternal Grandparents, My Dad, Me and My Mom

My First Solution - Blissful Fun

Drinking was my first solution. As soon as I had that first drink, I felt a sense of ease and comfort. I felt like I fit. I was taller, thinner, and more comfortable in the world. I finally felt 'normal.' It was such a relief. I knew I had found my cure… until it stopped working. I tried a geographical cure and ended up in Vancouver. What I didn’t know is wherever I go, there I am, and it wasn’t long before I hit another bottom.

Face-Smacking Bottom (It Wasn't Pretty) To My Second Solution

Almost two years after moving to Vancouver, I landed recovery kicking and screaming. I was jobless. I'd sold my car so I could drink more and the only reason I had a home was because my amazing Mom was basically supporting me and my drunken lifestyle. I had one friend left and she was barely speaking to me. To this day we still joke that the only reason she stuck around was she felt so sorry for me. (I actually think my Mom was paying her.) The worst part about all of it was I was terrified. What I had been using so long to feel 'normal' wasn't working and I didn't know how to get through life any other way. What I didn’t know at the beginning of my recovery is that stopping drinking and drugging was only the beginning. I was going to learn a whole new way of living and my work, both personal and professional, was going to be rooted in family.

Life Keeps Life-ing - The Good and The Not So Good

Throughout my life in recovery I have had so many experiences that keep bringing me back to family, co-dependency and my work learn to love those close to me without an agenda. I was a foster parent to high-risk teen girls for 15 years. I had to learn to detach there. I got married, had two beautiful daughters, went back to school a couple of times and then got divorced - another lesson in detachment and expectations.

I have walked through so many challenges - friends dying, learning my oldest daughter would have developmental challenges, loosing family members, watching my parents age, career changes and coming into my own as a sober woman, a Mom and a counsellor.

I am now a single mom (with a whole lot of support), an active member of the recovery community and a passionate and compassionate counsellor helping Moms who struggle with their addicted children. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me and who I love. I am so very blessed and I am grateful for the joy and soulful life I have.

Why Do I Do What I Do?

This journey of delving into the baffling world of addiction began as my need to understand, not as an alcoholic and addict in recovery, but from the perspective of a family member struggling with my loved ones and desperately wanting them to get clean and sober before they pay the ultimate consequence.

It has been my experience that addiction is a family disease. I have lived it in several different scenarios and relationships in my own life from my Dad to my Foster Children to my friends to my ex-husband to my brothers. I see how I am the only one that can change the dynamics and relationships in my world. To leave it up to someone else will always lead me to disappointment.

I want to help others, particularly Moms, to have the experience of loving their addicted or recovering children while being free of the guilt, shame and powerlessness of the addiction. My word of the year has been freedom... freedom from addiction, my own and others'. Teaching Moms to learn how to take care of themselves and have a soulful life while loving their addicted children on their terms makes my heart full and brings tears to my eyes.

What I Have Learned

I have learned 3 big lessons…

I can't make anyone else change. If I want to feel different and have a different experience, I need to be the one to do the changing.
Everything I have done to 'help' others has been done out of love.
Judging and expecting doesn't get me anywhere. I have no idea the struggles of others. Therefore, I need to treat everyone with love, compassion and kindness... even when I don't want to.

As long as I remember these things, the road is smoother. I am able to take care of myself so I can be there for my family and my chosen family when they need me in a way that is helpful to all of us.

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Learn More About Me

Part of My Story

"Courage isn’t an absence of fear – it’s feeling the fear and stepping forward anyway. Life might bring you to your knees, but you don’t have to stay there. Empowered women know that when you bond with like-minded women, there will always be someone to extend a hand to help you back up. We’re not meant to do it alone. Together, we’re stronger."
~ Christine Awarm

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I had the privilege of collaborating in a #1 Best Selling Book with 15 other amazing women. We shared our stories of courage, strength and leadership. You can learn more about me and some of my experiences in Women Of Worth - 15 Influential Woman Share Their Stories of Life and Leadership.