Jodi Takhar RTC, CHt
Family Addiction Specialist |
My Mission is to support and guide families with addicted loved ones towards recovery by teaching them all the lessons I struggled to learn along the way with my addicted loved ones. |
Who Am I and Why I Do What I Love?
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As a person in long term recovery, I have a deep understanding of what it feels like to be addicted and to recover. I can help you understand your loved one by explaining what goes on for them.
As a person with a family riddled with alcoholism and addiction, I know that place of fear and panic that exists as you wait for that phone call or the other shoe to drop. I can guide and support you through the process of helping your addicted loved one and yourself get to the other side of this horrific journey. |
"Not only is Jodi an amazing and compassionate counsellor who walks the talk; she loves her work! She made it safe to voice and work through the shame and guilt, as well as the stigma and fear I had around drug addiction. Thanks to Jodi, rather than putting my life on hold, and constantly worrying about my daughter, I am reminded to find ways to support and take care of myself."
~ Rita, Vancouver
Where It All Began
I was born and raised in Toronto in a home riddled with addiction and enabling. I don’t hold my parents responsible for my journey and what I learned. I know they were doing the best they knew how and quite honestly, I was a lucky little girl and I am grateful for everything they have done for me. I would not be the person I am today without them.
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I have one brother and one half-brother, both of whom have had their challenges with substance abuse. It makes sense because this is a family disease and, in our family, it begins many generations before us.
As far back as I can remember, I didn’t feel like I had a place in the world. I didn’t fit in my family or with my friends. My skin felt uncomfortable and I was always waiting for someone to tell me where I needed to go to belong. It was like I was waiting for the mother ship to come and get me. It never happened. |
Gram and Grandpa,
Dad, me and Mom
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My First Solution - Blissful Fun
Drinking was my first solution. As soon as I had that first drink, I felt a sense of ease and comfort. I felt like I fit. I was taller, thinner, and more comfortable in the world. I finally felt 'normal.' It was such a relief. I knew I had found my cure… until it stopped working. At 22 years old, I tried a geographical cure and ended up in Vancouver. What I didn’t know is wherever I go, there I am, and it wasn’t long before I hit another bottom.
Face-Smacking Bottom (It Wasn't Pretty) To My Second Solution
Almost two years after moving to Vancouver, I landed in recovery kicking and screaming. I was jobless. I'd sold my car so I could drink more and the only reason I had a home was because my amazing Mom was basically supporting me and my drunken lifestyle. I had one friend left and she was barely speaking to me. To this day we still joke that the only reason she stuck around was she felt so sorry for me. (I actually think my Mom was paying her.) The worst part about all of it was, I was terrified. What I had been using so long to feel 'normal' wasn't working and I didn't know how to get through life any other way. What I didn’t know at the beginning of my recovery is that stopping drinking and drugging was only the beginning. I was going to learn a whole new way of living and my work, both personal and professional, was going to be rooted in family.
Life Keeps Life-ing - The Good and The Not So Good
Throughout my life in recovery I have had so many experiences that keep bringing me back to family, co-dependency, and my work to learn to love those close to me without an agenda. I was a foster parent to high-risk teen girls for 15 years. I had to learn to detach. I got married, had two beautiful daughters, went back to school a couple of times and then got divorced - another lesson about detachment and expectations.
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I have walked through so many challenges - friends dying, learning my oldest daughter would have developmental challenges, losing family members, watching my parents age, career changes and coming into my own as a sober woman, a Mom and a counsellor.
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I love to be creative and often have a project on the go. I use my creativity to process my own challenges in my life. I paint often and I am a published author. I am learning how to pour paint with my daughter and having a great time. I am also an eternal student. I love learning. I'm always researching things and taking workshops and courses. One of my favourite things is to find different and new ways to heal from the inside out.
Why Do I Do What I Do?
This journey of delving into the baffling world of addiction began as my need to understand, not as an alcoholic and addict in recovery, but from the perspective of a family member struggling with my loved ones and desperately wanting them to get clean and sober before they pay the ultimate consequence.
It has been my experience that addiction is a family disease. I have lived it in several different scenarios and relationships in my life from my Grandfather, my Dad, to my Foster Children, to my friends, to my ex-husband, to my brothers. I see how I am the only one that can change the dynamics and relationships in my world. To leave it up to someone else will always lead me to disappointment.
I want to help others to have the experience of loving their addicted or recovering loved ones while being free of the guilt, shame and powerlessness of the addiction. My word of the year has been freedom... freedom from addiction, my own and others. Teaching families to learn how to take care of themselves and have a soulful life while loving their addicted people on their terms, makes my heart full and brings tears to my eyes.
It has been my experience that addiction is a family disease. I have lived it in several different scenarios and relationships in my life from my Grandfather, my Dad, to my Foster Children, to my friends, to my ex-husband, to my brothers. I see how I am the only one that can change the dynamics and relationships in my world. To leave it up to someone else will always lead me to disappointment.
I want to help others to have the experience of loving their addicted or recovering loved ones while being free of the guilt, shame and powerlessness of the addiction. My word of the year has been freedom... freedom from addiction, my own and others. Teaching families to learn how to take care of themselves and have a soulful life while loving their addicted people on their terms, makes my heart full and brings tears to my eyes.
My Professional World
I am a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor and Clinical Hypnotherapist. I have worked in residential treatment centres where the practice is abstinence, Opiate Antagonist Therapy (OAT) Clinics where the practice is harm reduction, and outpatient treatment centres where the practice was personally crafted programs. I have facilitated workshops, support groups and taught classes to families, people in recovery, people in active addiction and everything in between.
I believe in volunteer work and being of service. Currently, I am the President of the Board of Directors for Family Recovery Society of Canada. I am active in the recovery community and work with people new in recovery, supporting them on their path to freedom.
I believe in volunteer work and being of service. Currently, I am the President of the Board of Directors for Family Recovery Society of Canada. I am active in the recovery community and work with people new in recovery, supporting them on their path to freedom.
What I Have Learned
I have learned 3 big lessons…
As long as I remember these things, the road is smoother. I am able to take care of myself so I can be there for my family and my chosen family when they need me in a way that is helpful to all of us.
- I can't make anyone else change. If I want to feel different and have a different experience, I need to be the one to do the changing.
- Everything I have done to 'help' others has been done out of love.
- Judging and expecting doesn't get me anywhere. I have no idea the struggles of others. Therefore, I need to treat everyone with love, compassion and kindness... even when I don't want to.
As long as I remember these things, the road is smoother. I am able to take care of myself so I can be there for my family and my chosen family when they need me in a way that is helpful to all of us.
Learn More About Me
Part of My Story
"Courage isn’t an absence of fear – it’s feeling the fear and stepping forward anyway. Life might bring you to your knees, but you don’t have to stay there. Empowered women know that when you bond with like-minded women, there will always be someone to extend a hand to help you back up. We’re not meant to do it alone. Together, we’re stronger." |
This is how women are successful... we help, support and hold each other up. We build on our strengths and share our struggles. I had the privilege of collaborating in a #1 Best Selling Book with 15 other amazing women. This book is all about 15 women who had the courage to tell their stories of strength and courage. We came together to share our wisdom to help others learn the lessons that have made us happy, successful, joyful, playful, understanding, loving and courageous women. You can learn more about me and some of my experiences in Women Of Worth - 15 Influential Woman Share Their Stories of Life and Leadership.
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